"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Why should I fucking run mate?

There was a wonderful incident at the game yesterday. KP had become temporarily Saffa, taking a stunning catch (Yes, I am claiming that as a result of his Saffa genes. The English don't turn 360 degrees in mid-air like that) and of course molesting Jakes like no tomorrow. But KP was actually over-excited yesterday. He was involved in most field changes, moving around like he was on battery. So, when he came out at number three (after his lover Jakes had failed), and started thwarting the bowlers around people were sort of expecting it. At this point he may have been feeling like a Saffer or English. We never know when he takes on what identity. And the fact that the Poms call him a Saffa the minute he starts sucking doesn't help our dilemma either.

Anyway, the already confused lad, now has to assume a third identity. That of a RCBian (Evidently, that's the official term. Don't ask!). And there is no shortage of criticism there for him either. He fucked up one game and they dropped him and called him a useless git. I happily listened to them, I am not very fond of KP. But if you really think about it, he didn't deserve it. Just like Kallis didn't deserve those harsh words from Kumble. But that's another post where I fry Kumble for thinking Kallis is going to fucking babysit the team that think Cameron White is more valuable than Mark Boucher.

Back to the incident. It was very English, or rather Saffa-English as Michael Lumb had demonstrated earlier in the match. Both of them charged down the pitch like bulls with thyroid problems and refused to acknowledge the fact that their partners had signalled 'no'. KP has done this before, so we were not surprised. But we were delighted about was the fact that once given out, KP turned around to say "Fucking run mate" and then "Fuck man" to his team-mate Kohli, while lovely pig Shane Warne stood by laughing at them.

We loved it. As did we love the strong arm that KP put around Kohli afterwards, pretending to show him some love but actually strangling him so he smiled for the camera. It was comedy all around. Including Dravid trying to console KP right after. And we all know Dravid had to frequently run with Saurav Ganguly. That couldn't have been fun.

What this incident is going to lead to is something that I'm sure the IPL has brought up before: the question of whether IPL teams can actually evoke the same sentimentality and pride that cricketers feel when representing their national teams, enough for them to overcome the fact that their team-mates are actually their competitors  the rest of the 10 months (unless some of them play county as well). Could Kohli really have cared enough to sacrifice himself for the man that was clearly much more settled than he was, seeing as the man was not a fellow Indian cricketer? Should Kohli have cared? The obvious answer is yes. They are a fucking team and they get paid gazillions of dollars (and free alcohol when you are a RCBian) to be a team. But it does not necessarily mean that the players are emotionally that much charged up to give their everything. Kohli might have ran down the pitch for say, M.S or Yuvraj, but for KP...not so much. And you can't really blame him. This is the guy he is going to fight in another slogfest in about two weeks.

At this point, we obviously have the age-old argument of how a sportsman should always uphold team spirit no matter what team they are representing. To which I say, bull fucking shit. This is not football, where your club team comes first. In cricket the national team is and will always be top priority. Meaning subconsciously, KP will always be Kohli's opposition and KP will probably not think twice before swearing at him, like he would have even if Owais Shah had been at the other end.

Plus, poor KP is already lost. Don't burden him with any more issues of identity crisis. But know this: whether he is Saffa, English or RCBian, he will always run himself out like an idiot at some point. It's called KP cricket. Get used to it.

8 comments:

greyblazer said...

And he can also score about 500 runs in Australia against McGrath, Lee and warne which Kallis couldn't do and play great knocks like at Oval, Edgbaston, Napier, Trent Bridge,, Mohali and many more.

greyblazer said...

Kallis knock of 27 of 37 balls at a strike rate of just 73 was fit for test cricket. Luckily for RCB he got out for zero in the last match.

Anonymous said...

Two of my fav players, they will take rcb all the way to the trophy

Mahek said...

Kohli won't face KP in two weeks because he hasn't been picked for the World Cup. And it's subconsciously, not unconsciously.

Purna said...

grey, haha! I think Kallis' record speaks for itself. And I hardly think its fair to compare the two. Kallis has been playing longer.
I have a Kallis post coming up to argue that statement!

Mahek, that's justice served then. And stop being pedantic.

Anonymous said...

KP is the greatest in world cricket today.

Purna said...

Anon, great...maybe. Greatest? I wouldn't say so.

Anonymous said...

I would say KP is among those with the greatest amount of _talent_ in world cricket today. But to transform talent into greatness on the pitch takes a lot of patience, dedication, hard work and humility, and KP seems to be lacking a couple of those.

Look at Flinthof and Kallis. Flinthoff has more talent, a better eye, more pace and better coordination and reflexes than Kallis. Which of them will go down in the history books, and which one will be forgotten as soon as the next big talent comes along?

-frau