When Binga was injured for the umpteenth time Dougie B packed his bags and waited for the call. Actually, he might have waited even before Binga injured himself. Everybody knew it was coming. He is paying back mankind for unleashing his atrocious Hindi song upon us. One injured limb for every record sold.
But the call never came. Dougie waited with his tomato face till someone gave him a squeeze and said,
"The peacock is in its way, Dougie"
"Why Hildy why?" Dougie asked.
Dougie and Harris arrived at the IPL at the same time, both were easily the best bowlers of the tournament and both won matches for their teams. Dougie's team...eventually...won...the IPL!
So when the time came to replace Binga and Hilfy was still unavailable, most thought the new IPL3 champions AND the one who kept his Aussie colours with his IPL team, would be an automatic choice. But it was not to be. It was Ryan Harris who got the call, the same Ryan Harris whose chest is placed too highly, just like a peacock's.
How can Binga, one of the prettiest men in cricket, be replaced by Dougie tomato face? Getting people to come watch the games in the Windies is tough enough and on top of that they lose Binga and his applebutt. So they replace the butt, with a chest.
Dougie has none of this. I mean, the man makes Simon Katich look handsome for fuck's sakes!
No, Dougie has no place in the Australian squad. Not when he is replacing Brett Lee. Not when the people will come back to watch Ryan Harris till they can figure out why his chest is so oddly placed.
Unless Witchy picks up an injury and McKay, MacDonald, Moises, McGrath and Bracken are all unavailable.