Swannyg66 celebrated his birthday in style like the proper tambourine playing rock-star that he is. It was frightfully exciting. The chin, the song, the cake, the booze, the girl, the car and of course the arrest.
That Swanny is a regular rebel, I tell you. Driving a car with alcohol in his blood. How very, very naughty! And then managing to get arrested? Ooh, how are you girls curbing your desires to throw yourselves at him? He is SO exciting!
I of course have no such desires, because I realize that he is merely trying to emulate my Hersch who has ALREADY been arrested on similar charges. And many more. Hersch is like the king of Naughtiland. And of course, the mayor of Matureville.
What I want to know is how the ECB is reacting to all this. Is Swanny's Ashes place in line? Will they make him join MADD to show that Swanny actually condems drinking and driving? Will Freddie step in to advice Swanny on how to save his career? All very important questions.
I suspect the Aussies will be very disappointed if Swanny doesn't go. They might even let the English keep the Ashes. Now how will that make their supporters feel? Oh Swanny, in your attempt to be an uber cool god-like rockstar, you forgot about the ordinary man. Tsk tsk.
But maybe Swanny will recover from this tragedy in time for the Ashes. He is not very pretty you see. You all know what happens to pretty people in jail...