"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It sucks to be Brett Lee

This is not a continuation of the Buffalo post, but I couldn't find a more apt title for the disaster that is Binga's career. No hear me out, it IS a disaster.

First of all, the injuries. Oh so many of them! And even though he looks, dresses, sings like Twatto he is hardly an opener who knows how to bowl. He is a fast bowler and those folks pick up injuries that break them down. One at a time. Binga's elbow and knees have endured so much, the Federal Mutant Detectors are keeping an eye on him.
I lie. There is no such thing, but if there was Binga would be on their list.

Second of all, he has to be the only fast bowler in the world who got sidelined/dropped from the team despite being in good form. He hasn't lost the ability to take wickets, he hasn't lost his pace, he is still fit (minus that apple butt...has anyone noticed that THAT thing never changes shape?)...and yet he is not in the starting XI! It's not his fault really. A tirade of young fast bowlers have emerged for the Aussies in all three formats and it's probably the right way to go. But that's hardly a consolation for Tweety man right?

Third, his IPL stint. This is really based on today's game but very little is going well for him these days. Sure he got chosen for the WC T20 because of the IPL, but is he going to get a game? If Nannes is fit (evidently he is now injured) and Shaun Tait continues to be the speedy bastard that he is, Binga will be the drinks man. Oh wait, Witchy's in the squad. So Binga will probably have to sit in the dressing room with his guitar.

Which brings us to the fourth problem, his music. Yes, he is going to be writing the official song for WC 2011 but that doesn't mean we will like it. And neither does it mean he is a rock star. Cricket Australia needed a gentle way to inform him that he will not be getting a game and ICC wanted to make some budget cuts. So the two brainstormed and came up with this brilliant plan.

Brett Lee will open and close with his official WC song. That way he will get to be around the Aussies boys throughout the tournament AND ICC don't have to spend that much on the ceremonies.

The only good part of it all is that Binga can't produce a customary wide or no-ball while performing. Unless he misses a beat or goes off key.


Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

"(minus that apple butt...has anyone noticed that THAT thing never changes shape?)..."

What makes you think it should? *ROFL* Do people in Canada have morphbutts?

"Yes, he is going to be writing the official song for WC 2011"

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????? Have they listened to his sonic expulsions on youtube?
Heck, I think my last meal wants out o_O

••• Bye Bye New Sheepland...

richie_141 said...

Hey Purn, I'm gonna hijack for a sec, ok??

I just started a blog. Please check it out, or I may cry.


The apple butt totally freaks me out, by the way

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna be devastated if Binga doesn't get to play. I still question Mitchy's ability as a T20 bowler, so I say sit him out and let Lee bowl.

Of course, I also say sit Little Stevie out and let My Lord play but then I think I'll head for the Caribbean myself, so My Lord should be ... ahem ... too busy for cricket :-)

Purna said...

Wes, they have...and now we must listen to it too!

Lionel! This is great news! Have blogrolled you and will pimp you on twitter :D. Good luck!

Sid, my thoughts are they will pick Tait and Nannes. And Watson will obviously play too, so that's your backup bowler. Binga won't get a game!

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