"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Ricky's prayer

Oh Tasmanian Devil,

Please take over Pup and make sure every inch of niceness in that bastard is gone! Make sure you tell him not to bat if Australia are chasing or they are in a wobbly position, which they shouldn't be to begin with.

Let Kevin Pietersen burst in flames. His brain, hair, wide chest, sunglasses, iron-like arms should all be one giant pile of ashes. Let Andrew Strauss then come and take those fucking ashes home!

Let Andrew Strauss watch the whole match, every minute of the drubbing that my boys (I know Pup is the captain but who are we kidding? They still play for me) that my boys will give them to let him know what to expect at the end of this year. If possible, make Giles Clarke have a panic attack, change the rules of the game and put Andrew Strauss in the team during England's batting innings. Then make Pup give the ball to Witchy, he will break his hand.

Swap Graeme fucking Swann's body with Nathan Hauritz. I will do the rest.

Make Warner grow into a bigger ape so he can take Barbie and put him in his rightful place-in the forest with Naomi Watts.

Pay some girls to be Collyniggle's fans. He is so unappreciated in England that it will go straight to his head and his will forget how to be a captain. He might even think he is Alastair Cook.

Let Australia win so I can have another World Cup under my belt. After all, I am the real captain of the team.

Amen.

5 comments:

Wes said...

"Swap Graeme fucking Swann's body with Nathan Hauritz."

Well they have Smithy and he has more wickets than Swann so far, so Punter won't be too bothered with that :P

Strauss might even be watching, he went out early (again again again again again again again... you're getting the point) in today's match of Middlesex against the Netherlands, which is currently interrupted by rain so chances he gets a glimpse on the T20 final might be existent.

<3Warner :P

Today is the day

raj said...

You don't know that Ponting is more likely to invoke Satan than pray to God?
Looks like he has bid satan to defeat aussies so that Clarke doesn't emerge as a threat to him.
You clearly are too innocent

greyblazer said...

England won and KP again got runs. As a bonus he even won the player of the tournament award he he.

Sidthegnomenator said...

I miss My Lord.

Bring him back.

But for the love of God don't bring Punter back. If we must get rid of Clarke (and I don't think we should yet), make White the captain.

Grey, Pietersen rocked this tournament. He deserved that trophy big time.

Purna said...

raj, the Tasmanian Devil is hardly god :P

Sid, that is just the anti-Victorian in you talking!