"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

How to deal with Twitter: Celeb Version

- Make friends in real life. The kind whose skin you can feel, as opposed to touching them through your computer screen.

-When going through a bad time, VENT to these friends. That's really what they are there for, to listen to you bitch. Don't worry about them getting sick of it, you are a celebrity after all.

-Remember, Twitter is just another evil modern world creation that ventures to expose poor, innocent celebrities like yourself to more criticisms.

-Twitter was really invented to make journalism much easier, as everybody can type up a gazillion words essay when hating on somebody.

-Twitter is not your girlfriend/boyfriend, lover, wife/husband. Don't you have enough of them already?

-Twitter is public.

-People follow you because they think you are interesting, which you are not. So buy a joke book or better yet respond to them like Herschelle Gibbs. They won't care about anything else if you respond.

-Don't tweet shit about people who are not on Twitter. It really is back-biting, only publicly i.e. they WILL hear about it.

-Slandering people on Twitter is the same as being an ex-player without any medals around your necks making suggestions regarding the team.

-Working on your cricket helps. Tweeting, not so much.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The best bit about cricketers on twitter is their bad grammar. It always makes me smile.