"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Guidline to a killer instinct

Specially for the Saffers, who are being epic dickheads.

-In the event that an ecounter is futile, as in striking the victim a number of times will not ensure that the victim isn't alive and kicking, bash victim repeatedly. Even if victim is alive afterwards, at least one will have caused some injury.

-Complete destruction of weak victims are neither appealing nor heroic, if followed or preceded by an embarrassing failure.

-One must not look like one does not want to kill the victim, the victim can smell it.

-Niceness is for retards, one must get over it.

-Always strategise for a murder, anything else is punishable by death.

-If strategy is anything other than murder, due to some irreversible brain malfunction, putting it on display for the whole world to see may cause several upset stomachs and basically lead to an upsurge of vomit levels in the world. Please refrain from making such pathetic display.

-When planning annihilation (which should be always), picking Morne is a mistake. He likes to hand out candies to victims in certain formats.

-When planning annihilation (which should be always), leaving Rusty basically means one likes rotten eggs on one's face, hair and mouth.

-Asking the rookie to kill Suresh Raina is...a rookie mistake.

-If one lacks killer instincts, one is to be tied upside down to a tree and dried under the sun until one's brain receives all the blood required to make one's brain function normally. One will only be forgiven if one decides to take the reverse path in this ICC tournament i.e. losing now so one can win later. Like in the semis.

One had better reach the semis.

4 comments:

Ingo Flamingo said...

I laughed out loud a few times here. I think Smith and AB need to bet back to the rugby days of their youth and just try a full on shoulder charge on the batsman instead of all those overthrows.

-Frau

P.s.
My comments on your blogs were getting longer and longer, so I went and started my own blog.

cricketfaninexile.blogspot.com

Postings will probably be very infrequent. Critisism is appreciated!

Wes said...

If Saffas lose today then they did not deserve to get on. Where is the buffalo instinct! I'm a wee bit worried about Morne. Maybe he is only good against the English.

Frau, this is cool, check your blog!

Cheers,
~ Wes ~

Purna said...

Yay! Congrats Frau! Have blogrolled you!

The Saffers just did not look like they wanted to win against India, which also means they are underestimating a minnow again. How stupid of them!

Sidthegnomenator said...

Complete destruction of weak victims are neither appealing nor heroic, if followed or preceded by an embarrassing failure.

Aaah, can apply to so many of us, Purna. sigh.