"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Friday, May 28, 2010

It's only day one

Tomorrow is a new day, except it's not because bloody Trott hasn't reached his 200 yet and will surely attempt to do so. I'm just hoping that bloody Trott has poor Kallis' bad luck and will fall a few runs short.

But bloody Morgan is also at 40 and will surely want his maiden 50 and then slaughter his way to his century on debut. Of course Bresnan and Prior will take this opportunity to make some more test runs. Prior needs it, his spot is on the line these days. Damn Strauss will probably make sure he gets this chance, since Kieswetter did just win the World Cup for Collingwood and Colly is after Strauss' job. He can't have that damn little spy in his team!

Our bloody bowlers will continue to give runs like Shahadat Hossain. Yes I know Shahadat has the third best bowling figures in the attack but I fucking can't believeit. That is just a measure of how shitty the rest were and nothing else. Believe me.

Bloody Shakib is still recovering from the bloody chicken pox and is probably fighting to stay awake on the field. I am going to find the person who gave Shakib chicken pox. Then I am going to give that person chicken pox again and tie them up and duct-tape their mouth, so they can't itch. I'll also leave a tape playing a scratching sound over and over again.

We might bat once Strauss gets bored with our bowlers (I suspect he won't easily because evidently, we cannot be taken lightly) and decides to man-handle our batsmen instead. I am just hoping for Tamim, Mahmudullah, Shakib and Mushfiq to show some guts. I am also hoping the bloody Poms realize that they need to give us something for getting Strauss, KP and Trott back to form. We are the most motivational team ever...for the opposition. There must be some sort of pay for this.

I have settled my fees on Lords. One Englishman by the name of Mark Chalcraft from Good Cricket Wicket is convinced we deserve it so we are almost there.

But for now, man up boys. There's still two more days of drubbing to go.


Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Did you see at Jrod's:
"Working class moment

Trott had nothing to gain from today really. If he makes runs people will say he made them against a team as strong as your local 3rd XI. If he failed people would continue to talk about his spot in the team. Part of the working class aesthetic has always been that you’re fucked either way. Trott has picked the better end of the fucking, but it still means little."

Although I think Morgan's will be rated a little higher because it's his debut and his first class average is crap. But Morgan has fullest trust from everyone. I didn't watch a minute of this match but had the scorecard open. I mean it is migraine-inducing. Shakib is a little monkey boy, a lovely one but also a silly one, you don't understand him always. But I still think he is the man whatever happens. He is very special. To hear that Rubel sucked so much is painful as well.

A little video on a big man

Barry said...

Bang. still have to face Anderson's bowling.

Anonymous said...

I didn't think Morgan looked so great. He looks uncertain in whites. Probably because he can't go after the bowling. He did a couple of times play lofted shots and got top edges, but I would think that was nerves.

I must say the Bangladesh boys have shown an enormous amount of discipline from the bits I watched. Very impressive indeed.

Purna said...

Wes, just read it. So true! But did you really think Rubel was a good bowler? We just pretended that he was when Mortaza was being a little bitch.

Grey, sure!

Lou, I was in shock this morning. I am really scared though...because we usually have one good day and one good half day. So now all we have left is the good half day!

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Rubel is a good bowler! Well maybe he is a good Rubel. But I think England are just not, you know, his favourite team. So to speak.
Comparing him to Uaarghh Wuuaaargh is just inappropriate. Arghh Rubel. Maybe a little less Moonwalk and a little more bowling?

~ Play For Country Not For Self ~

Purna said...

I can't blame you, I too thought Rubel was a good bowler. I change my mind about him like KP changes his kid's diapers...