"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Modi Cometh

The super-star in the making mentioned in my first post is none other than the prolific Shakib-Al Hasan. When Shakib took over the captaincy from the injured Mortaza, lead Bangladesh to a series win in both Tests and ODI's against the West Indies AND clinched all the man-of-the series awards (at last count, the dude has four Blackberry Storms), the first question that came to everyone's mind was how the soul-sucking, money-grabbing Lalit Modi could have overlooked this gem.

The thought of Shakib in the evil Modi's clutches scares the daylights out of me. If Shakib is available for IPL 3, rest assured Modi will do at least one of the following to our wonder boy, if not all:

1) Monopolize his bidding so he becomes the first player in the IPL to be bought for 100,000 thereby prostituting his talents (Sorry JP)

2) Make him appear in ridiculous IPL ads where he will run faster than a Royal Bengal Tiger, leap up in the air to smash bouncers over the rope and produce a stunning delivery that will knock all three wickets out...individually!

3) Promise the next Ms. Bollywood that Shakib will keep her entertained by singing and dancing on the movie sets till the cast and crew arrived.

4) Threaten to check out his ass in front of the cameras if he chose to play for Bangladesh during IPL season.

All this will lead to Shakib being too exhausted to perform for the REAL tournaments. And don't say it won't. The Indians said it happened to them, so it must be true. Ultimately, Shakib's international career will be shortened and Bangladesh will end up as the biggest losers, while Modi launches his new 10/10 version of the game where each team will have to have a minimum of 5 Bollywood stars in their starting line up.

The Modi is coming to get you Shakib, run for the hills!

Run Shakib run!


Stani Army said...

Look who's first

Stani Army said...

All Shakib has to do is wear socks with his shoes and this will scare Modi off. With Superman it's kryptonite, with Modi it's socks with shoes.

...and Modi was not looking at her ass; he was looking for advertising space. Always working is Lalit, always on the ball.

Also, you didn't win "against" the West Indies, it was IN the West Indies...against some blokes.

Purna said...

Welcome to my blog Stan! Although, I am pretty sure that you have some sort of ulterior motive in being the first, I am still grateful for your comments. And yes, that was my apology.You need to stop being mad at me because I need someone to argue incessantly with.

I will let Shakib know about the socks :P.

And just when I thought you were being sweet you had to go and say that. It's ok Stani, we all know your team is only good at playing T20 these days...which is not even real cricket.

Stani Army said...

No ulterior motive, it's obvious. I wanted to be the first and now there is nothing you can do about it. It's like your blog being Christened or circumcised....I was responsible for this for your blog, me, Stani. You cannot now get away from this, it will haunt you forever. Stani will always be special to this blog.

Is it our fault no one wants to play Tests against us? We'll see what you have to say when we win the Champions Trophy. And be grateful to the Stanis, who were there when the rest of the cricketing world didn't give a monkeys about Bangladesh. FACT.

I'm always sweet....and that's what p***es you off.

You need to work on your apologies....may be include something apologetic in them, maybe.

Purna said...

LOL. It's good to have you back Stani, that's all I am going to say :P.
Win the Champions Trophy? You sure you'll be able to play cricket for 50 overs? GASP! Afridi can comb his hair a million time in that time period. I suspect he will prefer combing his hair.
Where did you get this fact hon? And what did you ever do for Bangladesh cricket :P.
I won't work on my apologies because you have clearly forgiven me. We both know that you can't be mad at your infidel ex-wife for long.

Stani Army said...

Why have you made the letters so big?

...and moderating comments? STOP IT!

In defence of Afridi (now there's how you use the words 'defence' and A'fridi' in one sentence!) when you sign up for the world's leading shampoo commercial, you practice when you can.

Have you read Bangladesh's cricket history?

"you have clearly forgiven me"...Oooo, taking a big risk there arnt we? I'll disappear now then, that'll show you.

Stani Army said...

How could you let Charles Coventry the ZIMBABWIAN! equal the record ODI score Saeed Anwar made against India? How rubbish are you lot?