"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Saturday, June 12, 2010

T1D2: Behind the scenes

'Why do we have to play!" said AB de Villiers. "Bafana Bafana is about to take on Mexico, our country is making history! I am not playing!"

'What the fuck you whining about? Jakes and I are batting. You can sit and watch the fucking game!", barked Paul Harris.

Subtitutes Ryan McLaren and Johan Botha smirked in their Bafana Bafana jerseys. They didn't have to play at all.

The footy started and everybody was glued to their blackberries, Iphones, smart phones...all hiding underneath their chairs. After all, there was a huge sign outside the dressing room that prohibited the usage of any sort of cellular device. Thus, it took Paul some time to find them when he had returned from the field.

"AB, AB, I am out. You gotta go out there. AB! Get your ass out there!"

AB left in a huff, all the while planning to get out soon so he can go back to the game. But Shillingford hit Jacques in the pad first.

"Appeal it! I am sure it was not out. Stay Jakes stay! You can get a hundred against these bowlers", AB tried to convince Jacques.

"Nah, I wanna see the first goal of the World Cup. Bye!" Jakes ran off.

Reassuringly, Prince informed AB that it was still 0-0.

"Don't worry, you didn't miss anything. But hey, can you please, please stay with me out here? I need to let the selectors know that the only reason I sucked against the Poms was because I was made to open. So be my support while I make a fifty. Everybody will know how good I am then!"

Only when Ashy P hit his fifty, Bafana Bafana had just scored. So no one really saw it. Ashy P didn't know this because the dressing room was jumping up and down with joy. Poor guy thought the celebration was for him.

Once he had proven his point, he too got sick of missing the game and left to join the guys in the dressing room. AB soon followed. Mark was thinking of doing the same, but Dale informed him that Mexico had tied.

The dressing room assumed that Mark Boucher was being Mark Boucher and saving their asses and Dale was winging it like crazy. Nobody looked up, till the cleaning guy came by and found sixteen Saffas underneath sixteen chairs, being appalled by France's defence.

"You guys can go home now, the match is over. I mean your match", he said.

"Oh!", said Graeme. "Aww look, just to be safe, let me tweet about us watching the highlights later at night so no one knows okay boys?"

As they walked off, the cleaning guy muttered, "Mon, some people did see your top order batting.."


Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

"Aww look"


Anonymous said...

Did anybody notice kallis gf in the crowd, wow she is so pretty, has to be a model with those looks, anyway that blog was funny poor guys are playing a useless series with the world cup actually been played in their country, have to feel sorry for them, btw anybody like graeme,
new hair style.

Purna said...

Anon, I am glad you brought that up. His hair is outrageous. He looks like a plucked chicken, which is quite an achievement for a Buffalo.

Anonymous said...

Thank you the image of Biff as a plucked chicken will now be in my brain, great Photoshop opportunity biddy and chicken plus buffalo, worlds weirdest sight ha ha

Anonymous said...

Sorry meant biddy not biddy am really not trying to rename graeme