"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Monday, June 21, 2010

T2D2: Attack of the toilet paper

I thought that the highest level of boredom had been reached during Trott's 200 against Bangladesh. I was wrong. Boredom had such a strong hold on every minute of this test, that even the players got bored.

Smithy set his eyes on 200 and then realized that even a double wasn't worth the torture. Kallis did the same. Most will say that it was the 200 that evaded him, but we say that he evaded the 200. Because he is Jacques Kallis and he can.

Then AB took control of the situation. Not only the cricket, the entertainment part too. AB is a born entertainer, he can play the guitar and everything. It was his time to shine, his time to provide the highlight of the day. He brought up his hundred with a beautiful four and a even more stunning six. But that wasn't enough to make people happy. So AB went to the toilet.

Everybody watched him run away. Some thought Graeme had declared, others thought AB was going to celebrate his hundred by sliding near the ropes, in true football style. Chris Gayle took a seat in the grasses, Mark Boucher stood next to the umpire with his helmet off- for clear view. The cameras focused on the green door through which AB had just disappeared.

Unable to control his curiosity any longer, Paul Harris walked in through the green doors. Perhaps AB needed help, perhaps AB was planning his next album and would give Harro a single; perhaps, AB was going to reveal to him the secrets of using the toilet.

As everybody found out just how much time AB de Villiers spends in the toilet, AB came striding out, a relieved man. The drama didn't end there my friends. Out of nowhere a toilet paper roll came and hit AB on the shoulder. To further add to our joy, it got stuck in AB spikes and he had to stop from his skip to the crease to take it out and toss it to the nearest Saffa. I hear the toilet paper roll will be sold on ebay.

This roll of white, soft toilet paper was touched by AB the entertainer. We thank thee for relieving yourself and us of the cricket.

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