"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Fan or Fanatic?

Answer the questions to find out if you are borderline psychotic or just a good old sports nuts who doesn't mind the occasional bar brawl.

Question 1: Your team loses a final match because they sucked so bad, minnows could have beaten them in their sleep. You watched the match with a group of friends who were all supporting the other team. Your friends are trying very hard to not rub it in your face by pointing out that they only lost because they played terribly. You:

a) Call upon your inner Senshi and knock all your friends out with one kick [6 pts]
b) Try to jump out of the window because you have been betrayed by the very people you thought were your friends [8 pts]
c) Sit silently and appear to be calm but really, you are trying to figure out how to finish off the members of your team one by one [4 pts]
d) Pretend to cry hysterically (okay, some of the tears are real) so your friends stop teasing you [2 pts]

Question 2: Someone tests your loyalty to your favourite player in the whole world by asking you to get his/her name tattooed in a very questionable area of your body. You:

a) Agree immediately. Heck, you sleep with this person's picture underneath your pillow so why not? [8 pts]
b) Agree but only if you also get to put the name of your significant other next to it [6 pts]
c) Refuse outright because...you already have his/her name tattooed in a very questionable area. You are not about to get a second one, that would be crazy! [10 pts]
d) You refuse on the grounds that you don't need to do anything so outrageous to show your loyalty, a fake tattoo will work just as well [4 pts]

Question 3: Sachin Tendulkar just declared to the world that his 'fans' embarrass the crap out of him when they wage a war against anybody who say anything bad about him. Even something trivial like, 'Sachin is having a bad hair day'. You:

a) Listen to him and stop immediately, but only because he is God [6 pts]
b) Contact the media to ask if that is really Sachin because you could have sworn that when you stalked him last night, he had a goatee [8 pts]
c) Go on the web and find articles on Sachin's announcement. Then swear at the SOBs, bastards, mother fuckers, ^%!*$* who wrote about it [12 pts]
d) Send him letters of protests and organize a march to fight for your right to continue your behaviour [10 pts]

Question 4: Your team cheats, lies, bullies and basically uses every unsportsmanlike tactic in the book to secure a crucial win. You:

a) Call it persistence and gloat about the win [6 pts]
b) Know what they did was wrong but still justify it to those who point it out [8 pts]
c) Say that you never watched the game and all you care about is the result [4 pts]
d) Switch teams temporarily i.e. till everybody stops hating them [0 pts i.e. what kind of a fan are you!]

Question 5: You are on a date and just found out that your favourite cricket player retired from all forms of the game. You:

a) Pretend to be more depressed than you really are to see if your date moves closer to 'comfort' you [ 4 pts]
b) Actually slump into depression and start writing a letter of thanks to him in the middle of the date [10 pts]
c) Pretend your date is the cricketer...you've always wanted to have dinner with him [12 pts]
d) Drone on and on about the cricketer to your date, till they fall asleep [6 pts]

Put your score in the comments section and wait for the next post to see whether you are a fan...or a FANATIC!


Freehit said...

Hey Purna,

I have to say this article was super super interesting and different from others.I am surely a fanatic,because I don't even change my position all day in a test match if India or team I am supporting is doing well.
And,I have to also tell you I absolutely agree to the point you made in your article on Holding Willey,regarding how overdose can kill interest in the game.

Anonymous said...

34 points - I think I might be bordering on fanatic.

Excellent post, Purna.

straight point said...

i don't have to go any test to know i am a fanatic... i am... ;D

sunny said...

I've got 30 points, where exactly does that put me? You haven't made a grading list Purna. But great test!

Yikes, Sid's got 4 points more than me...but does that make me more sane?

Anonymous said...

I think it makes you slightly more san, Sunny. But we'll work on you.

Purna said...

Hey Freehit, thank you very much for your comments on both the articles. Unfortunately, right after I wrote that article I got really busy and I'm unable to watch ANY sport! I think I am being punished!

Sid and Sunny, hmm...I'll tally it up and put it up soon but you girls are scary!

Sp, Sp, Sp...I never thought otherwise :P