"How shit you must be if I got you out twice!"
-Paul Harris to Andrew Symonds, Perth 2008

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The adoption of ROFL

Children, it's been decided. For months now I have struggled with the decision to adopt this strange looking yet absolutely endearing alien. Most of the time my struggle was directly correlated to his performance on the pitch.

Wickets= leaning towards adoption.
Wicket less = Hell no!

Then he got dropped from the ODI team, came back, performed miserably got dropped again...I didn't have time to support his difficult days. He has a wife for that, which incidentally is news to me. The mother is always the last to know, how very typical.

I only wanted to revel in his good days. I mean, if I wanted a troubled child I would have one of my own. Why adopt an alien?

But now, I have no choice. Even though he is not back in the squad and kind of proving himself to be a little shit and predictable, I am left with no other option but to adopt him. A great force has compelled me. This force, unfortunately, did not rise from hidden maternal instincts. Instead, it was born out of a pair of pants.

ROFL went to CSA's annual golf day in these pants.
ROFL let other people see him in these pants.
ROFL posed for a picture in these pants.

He might not be my son yet, but he is a Protea and no member of my team shall ever look like...well, like this! A half man, half zebra with an alien residing in the middle. This is a crime against humanity, nearly punishable by death although, I am pretty sure PETA will kill us before we can kill that zebra.

I think we can safely say that ROFL will have to work really hard to become a regular in the squad again but there is no reason why he can't look like a normal person while he is at it. That is where I come in. From now on, ROFL is my son.

You can address all gifts to me. I will pass them onto him when he comes of age.


sunny said...

So if you know disappear for a month, we all know what's happened.
Crazy ROFL has taken you away to his alien-land. I'm telling you Purna, it's a bad idea.
And is he seriously married?

sunny said...

sorry, meant 'now' there, silly typo.

Esra Star said...

You know my love for the angry elf that is ROFL. You can't hate him no matter how bad he plays because he's entertaining as fuck & that's what counts. Hence the pants, he probably played a shit round of golf but looking like that nobody cares. God bless ROFL, I'd marry him in a heart beat...

reina said...

His wife may need some attention too. She let her husband go outside in those pants. And, presumably, accompanied him, meaning she was willing to let herself be seen in the company of a man wearing those pants.

Anonymous said...

He looks like TinTin on drugs.

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Happy Birthday Rusty Theron, please get selected!

(sorry I didn't know where to dump that) :P

Purna said...

Sunny, he is...can you believe it?!

Es, hey! If you can convince his current wife, I'll let him marry you in a heart beat!

reina, well that is bound to happen when he chooses a wife without letting his mother screen her isn't it?

Wes, HAHA! Really? It was his birthday?? I hope he didn't smile in his birthday pictures!

Wes playforcountrynotforself said...

Rusty is a very pretty guy in the "actual" pics, i.e. not the staged ones