Objection! I am just a Tellytubby
And I am pleasantly plump.
But Shane/Inzy, how much do you weigh?
*Walks out*.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
No sweat
Who is bothered about the results? We bowled well, other than the last two overs, lost fewer wickets than Australia and clearly was just magnanimously trying to teach Australia how to play tests again. Sure, we chose a really fucked up time to begin the lessons but we tend to get carried away with our big hearts.
There are still two more matches to go. The DOG will be tamed to a puppy again. I am sure of it.
Then, YOU WILL ALL REGRET NOT WATCHING THIS SERIES.
Then again, watching Australia lose isn't really a rarity these days.
There are still two more matches to go. The DOG will be tamed to a puppy again. I am sure of it.
Then, YOU WILL ALL REGRET NOT WATCHING THIS SERIES.
Then again, watching Australia lose isn't really a rarity these days.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
I have hope
Now that the World Cup is over (and I have no other excuse to stay up all night and be disfunctional at work), I look forward to the Aussies coming to Bangladesh. More so because for the first time, I have hope.
That would be hopes of a win. Yes, a win. Against the Aussies.
Let me tell you why.
First of all Australia are living on reputation. They are no longer to be feared, specially when they are being led from the front my someone called Pup. Michael John Clarke is your captain? Really Australia? Michael Clarke who has yet to figure out what One Day Internationals actually are? Let's not talk about how good he was once upon a time because Michael Clarke...also living on reputation.
Second of all, any recent ODI's where Australia did not lose were played against Kenya, Canada and New Zealand.
Third of all we have spinners. Actual spinners. Not some Warne wannabes. It is irrelevant that we never had a Shane Warne to live up to. What is relevant is that YOU can't play spin.
Fourth of all Australia in the subcontinent. Do I need to even explain that?
As you can see, as this post has progressed, the hope has grown into belief. Soon, I will be gloating all over the delusional Sid from Thoughts from the Dustbin. Incidentally, she thinks it's only Bangladesh. Go read it here.
At least we had the brains to drop Crashrafool. I hear you've still kept Mussey?
That would be hopes of a win. Yes, a win. Against the Aussies.
Let me tell you why.
First of all Australia are living on reputation. They are no longer to be feared, specially when they are being led from the front my someone called Pup. Michael John Clarke is your captain? Really Australia? Michael Clarke who has yet to figure out what One Day Internationals actually are? Let's not talk about how good he was once upon a time because Michael Clarke...also living on reputation.
Second of all, any recent ODI's where Australia did not lose were played against Kenya, Canada and New Zealand.
Third of all we have spinners. Actual spinners. Not some Warne wannabes. It is irrelevant that we never had a Shane Warne to live up to. What is relevant is that YOU can't play spin.
Fourth of all Australia in the subcontinent. Do I need to even explain that?
As you can see, as this post has progressed, the hope has grown into belief. Soon, I will be gloating all over the delusional Sid from Thoughts from the Dustbin. Incidentally, she thinks it's only Bangladesh. Go read it here.
At least we had the brains to drop Crashrafool. I hear you've still kept Mussey?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The beginning
Right, World Cup time. Meaning time to get off my lazy ass and actually start blogging. Will only last till the semis anyway.
Yes, I did just say that. I have done much soul searching during my absence and have realized that sometimes being negative actually attracts negative results. And when you support Bangladesh and South Africa, even positive thinking, brings negative results. Put the two together and you have two negatives cancelling each other out to bring a big, yellow, positive smiley face. Much like AB's hair (I swear it knows how to smile).
So here we go, a new beginning for the blog with the same old but slightly modified negativity and a big bag of love for Bangladesh and South Africa. It only makes sense that I put a video of Bangladesh's victory against Kenya in the ICC trophy, which allowed them to play their first ever World Cup (where we beat Pakistan...muhahaha). I think I mentioned it somewhere before and as you can see, I got the details quite wrong. The six I recall being hit was earlier in the over and although it WAS our bowler who made the winning runs, it came off a single- the most famous single in the history of Bangladesh cricket. Yes, it is that dramatic. See it for yourself.
P.s- the video quality is shit. What did you expect? This was before Paris Hilton showed us what you can do with a camera.
Yes, I did just say that. I have done much soul searching during my absence and have realized that sometimes being negative actually attracts negative results. And when you support Bangladesh and South Africa, even positive thinking, brings negative results. Put the two together and you have two negatives cancelling each other out to bring a big, yellow, positive smiley face. Much like AB's hair (I swear it knows how to smile).
So here we go, a new beginning for the blog with the same old but slightly modified negativity and a big bag of love for Bangladesh and South Africa. It only makes sense that I put a video of Bangladesh's victory against Kenya in the ICC trophy, which allowed them to play their first ever World Cup (where we beat Pakistan...muhahaha). I think I mentioned it somewhere before and as you can see, I got the details quite wrong. The six I recall being hit was earlier in the over and although it WAS our bowler who made the winning runs, it came off a single- the most famous single in the history of Bangladesh cricket. Yes, it is that dramatic. See it for yourself.
P.s- the video quality is shit. What did you expect? This was before Paris Hilton showed us what you can do with a camera.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Happy Holidays!
Just in case the holidays don't bring a lot of laughter and joy in your life, I put a picture that surely will.
What is up with Graeme's face?
And when will AB stop wearing white?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Of cycles
Life is a cycle. Hence upon coming back to life I quickly died for a second time, because people thought a very good welcome back news would be that of Bhajji scoring a test century. It was instant death. No time for goodbyes. Hell not even time for the last gasp. Shame on you!
Australia is also in a cycle. It's called the shit cycle. Sometimes the cycle breaks because really shit is not circular. Shit just piles on and makes things shittier. I don't mean excretory materials, I mean shit that happens. But when you yourself are the shit that happens to...yourself, what can you really do? Think about that sentence long and hard. It's not that complicated. It basically means Australia had a fabulous third Ashes test series again and Mitchell Johnson was the main reason behind it. He swore at the press, Australia became all cocky again and England crumbled. Sounds familiar? No children, your life is not in repeat. Australia is. The only factor that's different here is that the next test is a Boxing Day test, and Australia have never lost those. I say never because I am too lazy to do research. But I am sure it borders on never. But does that really change anything? England is still the better team. Please do not ask me to explain that sentence. I've already ripped my heart into pieces typing that.
Not everybody is going around in cycles. Kallis just broke his cycle of getting close to the 200 mark and jumped right through it. I didn't know if it (what else did you expect?) till I went to Cricinfo and saw a picture of Kallis' hair. By now the picture has become legendary, so I won't bother putting it on here. But I will tell you that I actually started reading the caption because I thought Kallis had batted for so long that he had actually started growing hair. I mean it's Christmas time and he is 36. One of these days Santa had to give the boy what he really wanted right? It was only then that I realized that he had actually batted to 200 runs, not 200 days. I celebrated his achievement by brushing my own hair.
He has inspired me to break this cycle of absence that I have been stuck in lately. We will take it one day at a time. Don't get your hopes up, but know that I am trying.
In case I am gone for a long time, I will leave you with this very thought-provoking question: Am I Mitchell Johnson?
Australia is also in a cycle. It's called the shit cycle. Sometimes the cycle breaks because really shit is not circular. Shit just piles on and makes things shittier. I don't mean excretory materials, I mean shit that happens. But when you yourself are the shit that happens to...yourself, what can you really do? Think about that sentence long and hard. It's not that complicated. It basically means Australia had a fabulous third Ashes test series again and Mitchell Johnson was the main reason behind it. He swore at the press, Australia became all cocky again and England crumbled. Sounds familiar? No children, your life is not in repeat. Australia is. The only factor that's different here is that the next test is a Boxing Day test, and Australia have never lost those. I say never because I am too lazy to do research. But I am sure it borders on never. But does that really change anything? England is still the better team. Please do not ask me to explain that sentence. I've already ripped my heart into pieces typing that.
Not everybody is going around in cycles. Kallis just broke his cycle of getting close to the 200 mark and jumped right through it. I didn't know if it (what else did you expect?) till I went to Cricinfo and saw a picture of Kallis' hair. By now the picture has become legendary, so I won't bother putting it on here. But I will tell you that I actually started reading the caption because I thought Kallis had batted for so long that he had actually started growing hair. I mean it's Christmas time and he is 36. One of these days Santa had to give the boy what he really wanted right? It was only then that I realized that he had actually batted to 200 runs, not 200 days. I celebrated his achievement by brushing my own hair.
He has inspired me to break this cycle of absence that I have been stuck in lately. We will take it one day at a time. Don't get your hopes up, but know that I am trying.
In case I am gone for a long time, I will leave you with this very thought-provoking question: Am I Mitchell Johnson?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Forgive me, for I have sinned
A grave injustice occurred in the past month.
I briefly parted with the love of my life- cricket. I ignored it royally, sometimes because of exhaustion and sometimes because of life. Other times it was a complete lack of interest.
I suck, I know.
Why I moved so far away from my beloved, I don't quite know. It may have been a combination of things but I would like to brush it aside with my favourite expression of ultimate indifference to a very serious situation, 'shit happens'.
I am brushing it aside for the sole reason that I am now sitting and watching a thrilling one day international between the Saffers and Pakistan. Afridi just parted but then came Razzaq, who seems to have become a bit of a saviour of Pakistan cricket. There's more; I just saw BOTH Younis Khan and Yousuf Youhana on television in the Pakistan dressing room. And Ingram just dropped a catch...I am like an excited monkey and a disappointed donkey at the same time. Excuse my lame jokes, I am out of practice.
But only cricket can make me feel this way. Only cricket can make me jump out of bed and run around the house screaming '4-0, 4-0, 4-0'. Yes, it happened people. Just because I didn't gloat and rub it all over your faces doesn't mean you can pretend that it was all a dream and Bangladesh don't actually have a legitimate chance in the upcoming World Cup. Believe me if the 4-0 was a fluke, I'll be the first one to tell you to not get too excited. I speak only the truth. And while I am at it I would like to take this opportunity to tell Ashraful that it's time to pack up and look for a new career.
Also, the Aussies are kind of doomed for that little tournament that is about to take place.
Oh and one last thing: you may punish me any way you please.
I briefly parted with the love of my life- cricket. I ignored it royally, sometimes because of exhaustion and sometimes because of life. Other times it was a complete lack of interest.
I suck, I know.
Why I moved so far away from my beloved, I don't quite know. It may have been a combination of things but I would like to brush it aside with my favourite expression of ultimate indifference to a very serious situation, 'shit happens'.
I am brushing it aside for the sole reason that I am now sitting and watching a thrilling one day international between the Saffers and Pakistan. Afridi just parted but then came Razzaq, who seems to have become a bit of a saviour of Pakistan cricket. There's more; I just saw BOTH Younis Khan and Yousuf Youhana on television in the Pakistan dressing room. And Ingram just dropped a catch...I am like an excited monkey and a disappointed donkey at the same time. Excuse my lame jokes, I am out of practice.
But only cricket can make me feel this way. Only cricket can make me jump out of bed and run around the house screaming '4-0, 4-0, 4-0'. Yes, it happened people. Just because I didn't gloat and rub it all over your faces doesn't mean you can pretend that it was all a dream and Bangladesh don't actually have a legitimate chance in the upcoming World Cup. Believe me if the 4-0 was a fluke, I'll be the first one to tell you to not get too excited. I speak only the truth. And while I am at it I would like to take this opportunity to tell Ashraful that it's time to pack up and look for a new career.
Also, the Aussies are kind of doomed for that little tournament that is about to take place.
Oh and one last thing: you may punish me any way you please.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Dale must not play
Dear Anil,
It has come to my attention that South Africa's main weapon, the weapon that recently demolished your nation, the maniac that has done so much for your IPL team is currently struggling with an elbow injury.
(Excuse me, I must got FML)
Okay, I am back. So, Dale Steyn has an injury which is almost reminiscent of last year, when the Poms came and managed a draw and a win before lovely Dale was back in full swing. They may have managed a draw afterwards as well, but that obviously has been selectively removed from memory. Except when the brain perceives something ginger but, I digress.
This year, some more men in blue are coming to Saffaland, only they wear a different shade. We really have a shortage of colour in sports but again, I digress.
IF Dale Steyn is injured before the tests and we have another drawn home series, your red and gold, too bright for it's own good team will have to pay. Chances are you won't reach the semis of the Modi/Majola/Sutherland tournament, but it's okay. You have Cam White, a whole lotta Saffers and of course all those female actresses that Lalit Modi like to stare at. So really, the S&M's love you anyway. What the hell will you do with a trophy? It doesn't last eternally, like love does.
So from here onwards, Dale must not play. He needs to rest for the real tournament. Got it?
Of course you did, you are an engineer after all.
Love,
Me
P.S: Do you really have to wear gold?
It has come to my attention that South Africa's main weapon, the weapon that recently demolished your nation, the maniac that has done so much for your IPL team is currently struggling with an elbow injury.
(Excuse me, I must got FML)
Okay, I am back. So, Dale Steyn has an injury which is almost reminiscent of last year, when the Poms came and managed a draw and a win before lovely Dale was back in full swing. They may have managed a draw afterwards as well, but that obviously has been selectively removed from memory. Except when the brain perceives something ginger but, I digress.
This year, some more men in blue are coming to Saffaland, only they wear a different shade. We really have a shortage of colour in sports but again, I digress.
IF Dale Steyn is injured before the tests and we have another drawn home series, your red and gold, too bright for it's own good team will have to pay. Chances are you won't reach the semis of the Modi/Majola/Sutherland tournament, but it's okay. You have Cam White, a whole lotta Saffers and of course all those female actresses that Lalit Modi like to stare at. So really, the S&M's love you anyway. What the hell will you do with a trophy? It doesn't last eternally, like love does.
So from here onwards, Dale must not play. He needs to rest for the real tournament. Got it?
Of course you did, you are an engineer after all.
Love,
Me
P.S: Do you really have to wear gold?
Joke's on you, India
Mumbai Indians are a strange team. People who follow them consist of those that think that they are the best team in the world and those who viciously try to prove that they are over-rated. One suspects that people's reasoning for thinking that Mumbai are the best team in the world because they have Sachin. Of course all logic fails afterwards, so we will not elaborate.
One also suspects that haters hate Mumbai because of their fans. This by all means is a gross generalization. My research sample is completely biased and most of it is just good old fashioned intuition. But that is what makes the joke funnier.
Amongst all these: the lovers and the haters, the fanatics and the sworn enemies, one factor continues to remain overlooked. It is this factor that makes me laugh out loud because it actually affects both parties. I dislike Mumbai immensely (despite the on and off presence of Shaun Pollock in the team) because of this factor.The factor is Harbhajan Singh.
Durby plays for Mumbai and India. Durby is often considered an important weapon for both his teams. Durby consistently gives a 'meh' if not disgustingly inadequate performance for both the teams. Mumbai Indian fuels this inadequacy, as Durby is rarely replaced but always cherished...just like in team India. All this limited overs exposure means Durbhajan Singh Durby, is sure to be in World Cup squad.
Mumbai Indians recently lost a match they had already won because Durby thinks his bowling is acceptable.
Most haters and lovers of Mumbai Indians are Indians themselves.
India are one of the hosts of the 2011 World Cup.
You see why I am laughing at them?
One also suspects that haters hate Mumbai because of their fans. This by all means is a gross generalization. My research sample is completely biased and most of it is just good old fashioned intuition. But that is what makes the joke funnier.
Amongst all these: the lovers and the haters, the fanatics and the sworn enemies, one factor continues to remain overlooked. It is this factor that makes me laugh out loud because it actually affects both parties. I dislike Mumbai immensely (despite the on and off presence of Shaun Pollock in the team) because of this factor.The factor is Harbhajan Singh.
Durby plays for Mumbai and India. Durby is often considered an important weapon for both his teams. Durby consistently gives a 'meh' if not disgustingly inadequate performance for both the teams. Mumbai Indian fuels this inadequacy, as Durby is rarely replaced but always cherished...just like in team India. All this limited overs exposure means Durbhajan Singh Durby, is sure to be in World Cup squad.
Mumbai Indians recently lost a match they had already won because Durby thinks his bowling is acceptable.
Most haters and lovers of Mumbai Indians are Indians themselves.
India are one of the hosts of the 2011 World Cup.
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